I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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