People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
