Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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