What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
