adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
