I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
