meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
