Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
