and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
