Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
