Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
