Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
