Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
