My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
