he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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