Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
