..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize