So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
