I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize