When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
