I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
