I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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