So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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