oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
