i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
