Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
