I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
