I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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