he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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