please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
