so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize