i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
