He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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