Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
