you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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