Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
