guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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