Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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