never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
