I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
