well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
