Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize