Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why is your signature on my underwear?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
