It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
