you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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