We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
