She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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