Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
