Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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