You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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