just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize