So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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