I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize