I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
