Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
