Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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