he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
