VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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