I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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