we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize