That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
