let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
